I was born in New Jersey and grew up in New York State and later returned to New Jersey after living in Arizona for a few years and then back to Az., again.
Staying put has always been a challenge for me. When my parents divorced my Mother moved a lot, so I guess that was the start of it. I believe she was trying to find a place where she fit in.
A wanderer, my father called me, the nomad of the family. He, of course was right. My family members saw me as running from myself or something. They did not understand. They never once considered that maybe, just maybe I was running to “Me”.
I was engaged at the time, in 2000, after hitting 3 animals in a short amount of time, I realized it was time for me to leave. First a Raccoon, a Fox and lastly a Deer. I was watching the Deer, so I slowed to a crawl, but that Deer had a destiny, Crossed the road and bang, it hit the car. I stopped and pulled off to the side of the road. I stayed with that beautiful animal until she passed, crying. A friend stopped and tried to comfort me. So nice of him. After the police came and called for someone to care for the deer I got back in my car and said to myself, I get it..It is time…
I had thought of leaving off and on for a while, even though I was engaged and loved him, something was wrong. I was sitting in my room and he was in the next room when I knew what it was. I got out my chair and walked into his room and said, I would have signed a Pre-nup had you asked. All I want is you. The look on his face was, how the hell did she know I wanted to ask that question, but didn’t. I looked at him and said “Now I am leaving”. We talked about it for a week before I left. He would go from understanding to confusion. I tried to explain that if you can’t talk to and tell me or ask what you need then how can I trust that you are being honest?
I Loved this man. But I could not stay. My son just totaled my car, so I rented a car and fit my personal belonging in it and left all my furnishing behind. After all, those items can be replaced. I got to the bottom of the driveway and let out a Hugh Sigh of relief and in that Instant, I knew I made the right choice. It was a shock to me. I was heading West. All the way to Arizona. 4 days driving. I was Free. I went to Casa Grande, Az. Got a job and then a place of my own, I was there for 3 to 4 months and then moved to Sedona. I knew I was home.
Never once did I think I made the wrong decision. I saw Paul a year and a half after I left New York, I returned to see my Sons and Sister. I actually moved a couple of times. I always knew I would return to Sedona. I moved back after finishing my family obligations in 2015.
If I had not paid attention (unfortunately it took the lives of 3 beautiful animals) I think it would have been terrible had I stayed. It was painful to the person I loved, but it was necessary for both of us.
I have moved a lot and getting ready to moved again, but it will be here in Sedona and hopefully my last time.
Don’t be afraid and don’t wait until you kill or hurt an animal or yourself. Trust that it is the right choice for you. My family was against it but I knew I had to move, it was time. Trust and it will be fine.
I love where I live and I make friends easily and I knew when that sigh came out of my mouth I knew I was ok. I put the metal to the floor and never looked back.
Travel well my Sisters and Brothers. If it feels right…then it is.